children

Back to School–For Children Only?

Back to School–For Children Only—Really? In a motel ministry many of your services are geared toward children, none more so that in August—Back to School time. We spend the entire month of August making the rounds of the motels we serve, distributing backpacks to make sure the children get to start that all important first day of school with everything they need, looking and feeling “Just like everyone else”. It’s important to them and doubly so to us.

We hand out backpacks before school starts. Don’t wait until September. It will be too late to prevent an embarrassing first day for the children. A day that can shape their attitudes toward school for the entire year or even the rest of their lives if they’re shamed for not having a new backpack and all the things on the teacher’s wish list.

The children are your main focus for this activity, but sometimes they are not the only focus. Adults need backpacks too. If you have enough and if you can do it quietly, don’t cut the adults out. Many of the adults ride bicycles, the bus or even walk to work. They have to carry everything they need for the day with them. They can’t leave things in a car they don’t have and they certainly can’t make a quick trip home if they need something.

Simple is Better

Keep it simple—it’s better. Time and again when playing games with the children, it is hammered home to me that it’s not how much the game costs that matters, but how much enjoyment it brings.

I comb retail stores, teacher’s supply stores and of course amazon.com for game ideas. There is no lack of games available. The hard part is weeding out the million possibilities to a few purchases. I’ve finally learned the hard way and the expensive way that children don’t care about how much a game costs, or, how many brightly colored pieces it has.

This is important for you too. The more pieces there are the more you can lose. Don’t forget—you’re portable. You need to transport and keep track of all those pieces. The boxes the games come in are going to take a beating by being constantly transported and eventually the box won’t hold the pieces any longer. You need a game that can eventually be contained in zippered baggies and plastic containers. You also don’t want a game that is ruined if you lose one piece.

Ice Cream Social

Today we had an ice cream social—make your own sundaes. Since it was about 90 degrees outside it was a big hit. This is actually a very simple activity to do, with a little preparation and a few extra hands to help.

The main thing you need obviously is the ice cream. Note: Don’t buy it until immediately before the event, unless you have a very large freezer! And, be sure to have an ice chest on hand. The motel we had the ice cream social at actually provides refrigerators for the residents, so we would have been able to store extra ice cream there, but this is the exception, not the rule.

We served a crowd of about 50 children and adults. We did fine with one very large tub and three cartons. There was even some leftover for anyone brave enough to want seconds. Even after Baskin Robbins 31 flavors, vanilla is still the #1 favorite flavor in American. No one refuses it.

Next come the toppings. This is where you can get as creative as you want to. Just walk down the candy, cookie and baking aisles. You’ll get lots of ideas. The possibilities are endless. We used small marshmallows, plain and peanut M & Ms, gummy bears, mixed nuts and sprinkles.

Syrups can be as easy as a couple of bottles of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, or the gamut of flavors available. No matter what flavors you get, get double or triple the chocolate. It’s always going to be the favorite flavor.

Then came the whipped cream. Four large cans took care of everyone. Last of all was the cookies. We chose Oreos. They come in several different flavors now, so they make the perfect ice cream accompaniment—in addition to original you can get golden, double stuff, triple stacked, peanut butter, lemon, raspberry and cookie dough. Heaven!

The set-up is something you want to arrange carefully, to avoid chaos and a sticky mess. Also, do as much prep work as you can before so you don’t have a fidgeting crowd and melting ice cream waiting for you. Put the toppings and cookies in plastic containers, ready to be served from. Put plastic spoons in the toppings so little fingers aren’t tempted to just pluck what looks good. Have lots of napkins, paper towels and wet wipes available. Be sure to bring plastic tablecloths. You’re going to need them!

Have a couple of card tables and place everything on them so people can go down them assembly line style. This keeps the line flowing and helps keep everyone cheerful and patient on a hot day. Assign volunteers to go along with the children or they will pile their bowls as high as they can with whatever they see. The potential waste is less of a problem here than the probability of the child becoming very ill from overeating. And guess who has to deal with that?

Be prepared to have fun. This is one of the most popular events we do and we try to do it several times during the long, hot summer. The sticky hugs and kisses are just a bonus!

Happy Father’s Day, Mom

Today is Father’s Day. We’ve observed many great fathers, doing the best they can for their children and wives, in very, very difficult situations. We see dads who go without new shoes and even without dinner, so their children don’t have to. There is no difference between the love they have for their children and the love of men who have better finances.

However, the irony of the day was the number of moms we ran into today, who are raising their families on their own. For whatever reason, there is no dad in sight. We were impressed by the good job they’re doing. The undisputable truth lies in their children, who evidence their love by holding their mom’s hands, hugging them and making sure to ask for something to eat for their mammas, whenever we bring snacks. They do not forget.

Many of the boys take on a protector’s role of their mother when they are very young. It’s a lesson you wish no child had to learn, but in the end is the responsibility, maturity and kindness they learn really a bad thing?

Although an intact family with two parents is almost always going to be best for a child, these children did not walk around with long faces because they didn’t have a dad on Father’s Day. It barely registered on their little radars. The sunshine of their lives, their moms, were there and that was all they needed today.

So, in honor of Father’s Day, to all the moms who perform both the job of mom and dad, we say with love and admiration, Happy Father’s Day, Mom.

Patience is a Two Way Virtue

Patience is a two way virtue. You teach it and if you’re lucky, you learn it too. We experienced it in action last week. We sat down with the children to do a Father’s Day craft, cleverly orchestrated by the craft lady, “Miss Dawn”. They decorated funny little sports cars and colored a beautiful Father’s Day card worthy of Hallmark. I’ve never heard a group of children so silent. Their total concentration on getting what they were doing absolutely right for their dads was moving. Bent heads, tongues stuck out between teeth and complete attention to coloring within the lines were the order of the day.

One little boy had a “Magic Marker Malfunction”. He was almost done with his dad’s card. He was the last child left and we were just about ready to wrap up the session and go home, when the blue magic marker he was using bled all over his masterpiece. He’s a quiet child so he didn’t make a fuss, but we saw what had happened and asked him if he wanted to start over again. He said “yes”, so we handed him a clean card and settled in because he is the most meticulous of all the children. We knew we were in for a wait.

Sometimes, Rules have to be Broken

Sometimes, rules have to be broken. That probably sounds like a heretical statement when so much of this website and blog content concentrate on helping you “stay within the navigational beacons”. However, there will be times when you need to circumvent the rules if a client in need is going to be served in the best and most loving way.

We received a call from a client we’ve helped many times. We’ll call her “Sandra” (name changed). The needs were always legitimate because she’s a young single mother of two sweet little girls, and she has cancer. She has no family at all here. They are all in another state and are very poor themselves. It appeared however that we had become too convenient for Sandra, so the brakes had to be applied.

The last time Sandra was in need we paid her rent for two weeks, made sure her family had enough to eat and paid her cell phone bill. We told her to use those two weeks and the paid cell phone to concentrate on building up a list of resources other than Project Dignity to fall back on and that the next time a need arose she needed to call someone else. We wouldn’t be able to help her. We’re very small. If we pour out all our resources on a few families, a lot of others don’t get the help we should be providing.

Sandra placed an urgent call to us this morning. She was going to be locked out of her room at 11 because she was two days short on the rent. We hear this over and over again and yet somehow our clients manage to hold on even when we can’t help them. I decided to see what Sandra could come up with. I knew that she at least had a car they could sleep in if it came to that.

I’d had a tiring day and decided to make Sandra my last call before I got some rest. I called Sandra on her cell phone and she answered—from the front of the motel where she stood locked out with her two little girls. The manager had actually done it. She had tried all day to get help. Had walked for miles to places that might be able to help and had struck out. And, she no longer had a car because the timing belt had broken. I wished her well and terminated the conversation. Then, I sat there, and sat.

Doing the Right Thing–Even When it’s Hard

Working with children is one of the most rewarding activities ever. Working with homeless children has extra rewards because of the endless possibilities to make a difference in a little one’s life.

Children living in motels face some very gruesome situations every day. They see things the majority of us may never encounter even once in our entire lifetimes. Don’t let this be an excuse for you to pity the children you work with. They need your compassion always—your pity never. Don’t even try to give them your understanding because you can’t, unless you grew up in a motel yourself.

Pity causes you to treat a child differently. It cripples your ability to be someone who can make a lasting difference to the child if all you can see in front of you is “damaged goods”. You will find yourself wanting to “give them a break” and let inappropriate behavior such as bad language, name calling or greediness slide.